I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
