Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
