First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
