I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
