I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
