I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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