Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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