Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
