She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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