Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
