Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
