hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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