im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
