Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
