Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
