ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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