I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
