He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We got so high we made milksteak
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Bring me that man meat
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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