it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
