he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
