OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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