singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
