she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
