you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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