Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
