I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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