just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
