About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
