I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
