Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
