Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
