I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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