Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
