"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
