I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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