I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
