his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
