he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
