Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
