What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
