I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
