i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
