She is in my trunk
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
