This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just puked most of my soul out..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
