Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
