shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
