So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Your penis caused this!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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