Non-Jews are for practice
no you cant smoke seaweed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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