oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
