OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
